Abuse

Surviving trauma since a early age does not come with a map

I sit writing this blog post today and realize it’s been one of the most challenging years of my life.

I have struggled with mental health since I was a child.

Exposed to things no child should have to experience.

Between the ages of seven and eleven, I was sexually abused by two men. This forever changed my life. Most recent reports and studies show that abuse can have long-term effects on the brain, even causing permanent damage to cells and memories and impacting how we react to stimuli.

I can speak from personal experience: My heart, trust, and ability to love and be loved forever will be in a distant memory of a girl who had the whole world ahead of her and aimlessly struggled to find her footing and threw herself into more trauma because this is what she knew. We create our reality.Conditioned to be abused, abandoned, and neglected is the tune of a girl who a parent never loved. I was only discarded and left to suffer alone for years. To learn more about my story, please check out my books.

It’s amazing how our society has been so removed from its humanity.

Yet this is only an assumption because if you release the fear, conditioning, and sabotage mindset, you attract suitable environments, people, and experiences.

But you also feel sad because you love the people who have hurt you, your not cold and heartless they are just not capable of loving you.

I have struggled with balance for so long, and still to this day. It’s a learning curve in this healing process. Authentic leadership comes from finding the source of the problem, identifying the disturbances, and “focusing” “r efforts. We may be able to redirect our limiting beliefs by removing the fallacies. As leaders, we can impact others, and it is essential to come from a place of love, understanding, and compassion.

Let’s start:

What are your truths?

The truth is I let my depression, suicidal thoughts, and actions almost take my life more times than I can count.

I fought my potential with efforts of pleasing people, which resulted in feeling empty.

Throughout my life, there have been many circumstances where I let my ego get the best of me, and I made decisions that impacted my mental and emotional state.

I have found so much clarity in programs like NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming). Working and training under Kain Ramsay brought alot of insights and truths into how I heal and help my clients.

The wise mind model is a part of the teachings of NLP and resonates deeply with me as I am highly intuitive. Most of those I have worked with struggle with one extremity of the brain or the other. For example, you have your analytical mind (thoughts, logic, reason) and your emotional mind ( feelings, emotions, and subconscious). As we identify which side we lean deeper into, we can understand where to find a balance that leads to a wise mind: your intuition, deep sense of knowing, and even balanced energy of the brain emo’s emotional and analytic regions.

For instance your memories being up emotion and your brain does not know how to decide whether it's happening now or was past especially if your coming from a fight for flight response. You than can view everything as a threat.

But that's why it's important to know the facts vs fallicies. (aka lies)

Is there an immediate threat?

Do I feel safe?

Can I trust myself/others

Bring your nervous system back into alignment by focusing on what you can control.

Be SMART

Specific

Measurable

Attainable

Relevant

Time sensitive

This acronym can help dramatically

My personal one I use with clients is ARC

Accountability

Responsibility

Courage

As we learn how to better connect with our emotions and thoughts, we can find tools and supportive modalities to help with the brain clutter and over-sensitivity.

With our current state of the world, I know most are asking the questions

Will we be forced to continue to cry and fall deeper into a state of feeling like no matter the work, effort, and time?

Will it never be enough?

What is going to happen?

Do they love me?

Will IT EVER BE ENOUGH?

Truth is;

if they wanted to they would, if they could they would, but they didn't so try the Mel Robbins “Let Them” Theory and remember to Let you!

You deserve it after all you have endured!

Sometimes, we need to disconnect to reconnect to realign with our most authentic focus, intention, and belief. Some supportive tools that have helped me along my pathway are physical movements like yoga, exercise, and breathing practices.

The best advice is to go slow and explore different modalities and practices that help you find the path most beneficial to your health, wealth, and abundance.

Be inspirational! Be insightful and be brave!

References:

https://www.reichandbinstock.com/blog/how-sexual-abuse-affects-the-brain/

https://mcpress.mayoclinic.org/women-health/lingering-effects-of-sexual-trauma/